Complain against Planes.

Some like the plane
Some like the Train

Airport dashers can never understand
Why some old fashioned folks travel by land .

Why would anyone commit the Crime
Of  not lopping off Travel Time.

Much harassed as I am
By the late trains and the latest planes :

I have decided that I would like to remain
with the relatively less Insane.

Time saved on planes is a great attraction
unless it becomes a laughable Abstraction.

The sad and Cruel truth is this :
The Promise of the Aeroplane is about as fast and fickle as a First Kiss.

You think it will be smooth ,silky and smouldering
But it lingers on the Edge of Take -off for an eternity and leaves you weary ,teary and glowering.

The plane like a Jerk -does not really need you or want you :but dallies - with all the postponements :
Keeping you imprisoned in Departures -you sinner - to ensure that you do not scrimp on the Atonement.

And if you ever do Arrive on time-
Why - your luggage is sure to lag behind

You  Ass : so you needed  Fairy Tales
All you get is permanently lit , noisy and painted Lounge as your dreary Jail .

Had you gone for the slow but steady Train
Talking sleeping, eating, meeting : you and your belongings would be in one piece -sans complain.

Of course like all Fairy Tales - once in a while - the Aeroplane one - comes true
on which pretext Airlines continue to test the travellers' patience,docility,meekness and such-like virtues.

The Ultimate Indian Male Fantasy.

Money anyhow ,cricket , T.V, exotic wines

Pricey cars , cells and bikes- to make me feel Masculine.

Big Boobs.

Womyn with voices soft and polite

Mute would be nice .

Big Boobs.

Womyn who dress like a million Dollars

Womyn who love cleaning dirty socks and collars.

Big Boobs.

Womyn whose cooking would make my Mom's heart swell
Obedient,respectful,dutiful- Bombshells.

Big Boobs.

Religious  decorous , glamorous ,sexy ;
Educated , open minded , modern but only on backseat .

Big Boobs.

Who know when to look the other way.

Who let me feel like a Man and hold sway.

Big Boobs.

Womyn who earn their keep and have rich dads
owning Metro Property and a beach-pad.

Big Boobs.

Unwicked Womyn who represent the noble culture of India -
And  who always take permission to visit the shrink for their Schizophrenia .

Big Boobs.

Circulars Are Circular.

We have
Empowered
Specially A Group
To give Integrated Inputs
And to Develop Policy Perspectives
Strategic and Futuristic .
In Our Way Forward
We must meet Tomorrow Today.
Human Resources are Paramount
Personnel Management is the Sparkling Fount.
So Kindly  Presently Suggest 
Ways and Means For 
Spreading Motivation through
Recognition of Work.
Keep in mind that
This is Separate from
Though not Exclusive Of 
The existing schemes for 
Reward, Appreciation, Acknowledgment Of Merit ,
Morale Building And Awards of Excellence.
All Applicable Rules Regulations Ceilings Criteria
GOI decisions thereunder and Rulings thereof Inter alia ,
may be adhered to , and Consensus arrived at
before forwarding-
Through Proper Channel Please
with Prior Approval Of
The Competent Authority.

Organising Committee gives a Briefing.

"Dear Guests,Athletes and Countrymen,

Don't squander your tears.

We come hither to bury your Complaints

Not to hear more of them"

Please understand that the Games are not a Mess
This is all over-reaction and Hype -
Created by the alarmist Press: we will soon redress
All the minor  'plaints that are causing this gripe.
We have taken rounds and found that there is no lack of Hygiene;
We Indians are just somewhat "differently Clean".
Foreigners (Fennell ,Hooper & co), do not impose your exalted standards;
On a poor,underdeveloped country of the Third World.
Seepage and snakes are normal after the rains,
The Show will be Big, these are just Teething pains.
A Collapse here and some  Dengue there, do not make a Calamity.
Look at the bigger picture: we are Absolutely Prepared.
All those who threaten India's Prestige are Bewared.
Hail the Games -Delhi will change into a World Class City!
We Promise we will take Good Care of all Guests and Athletes.
But they also better cooperate and not act so Hard  to Please.

Oh rear!

                                                                          









O Venus! on your stunt risque and unabashed
The last word surely belongs to (Ogden) Nash:

"In the vanities,no one wears panities"

So now you will blaze the French Open flaunting an al-fresco derri`ere
Though we fail to understand why you should want us to forget your (elegant)game and remember your  posterior!